


War of the Five Neighbors

by youbuggme



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Baseball, Gen, Kid Fic, Vandalism, War Of The Five Kings
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-05
Updated: 2016-07-06
Packaged: 2018-07-21 19:39:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,189
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7401166
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/youbuggme/pseuds/youbuggme
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>All it took was for one lone baseball to fly over the wrong fence for an all-out war to break loose and disrupt a quaint little neighborhood.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The King from North St.

**Author's Note:**

> Originally a prompt request that wouldn't get away from me and has now been expanded.
> 
> Originally posted on tumblr and on my A03 prompt dump- [Procrastination and Midnight Ficlets](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6473005/chapters/16353719)

"Not it!" Robb yelped, Theon echoing him almost immediately. Jon watched helpless as the other two boys gave each other high fives, Theon going as far as to stick his tongue out at Jon. Robb had the decency to look sorry for his brother. "Sorry, Jon. You know the rules."

"He isn't even going to give it back!" Jon crossed his arms angrily. "What's the point?"

"You don't know that," Robb smiled sheepishly. “Stranger things have happened.”

"Yeah, we do," Theon instantly contradicted him and smirked at Jon. "But rules are rules."

" _You're_ the one who batted it over the fence!" Jon pointed his finger an inch from Theon's smirking face.

They had just been playing a fun, innocent game of baseball. Of course, Theon ruined it with one bad hit and now their ball was in the No Man’s Land of Old Man Tywin Lannister’s backyard.

"But you lost." Theon shrugged and looked at Robb for back up.

"Rules and rules," Robb agreed, but turned to give Theon a stern look, "but we will come with because that's what friends do."

Both Jon and Theon groaned loudly. Robb had been trying for the good part of three years to get them to be friends. If anything, Jon and Theon were worse off than before but that didn't stop the optimistic red head from trying.

"Come on," he grabbed his brother and best friend by the sleeves of their shirts and yanked them forward toward the large imposing house with the two terracotta lions at the entrance of the driveway.

As the three boys climbed the steps of the three-story home, even Robb's courage seemed to waiver. Old Man Tywin Lannister was just that. An old, angry man whose children were spoiled brats and his grandkids were even worse. Robb's dad had said Old Man Lannister was from a different, harder generation. Theon said he had a stick up is ass. Ned never contradicted Theon, only gave him a stern comment about proper language for twelve year old boys.

Once on the porch, Robb nudge Jon on his right to hit the doorbell. With trembling fingers, the button boomed loud church bells with grave harmonies. Even Theon jumped at the sound, the mask of cool he always wore beginning to fade.

A few minutes later the large oak front doors swung open and Old Man Tywin Lannister stood before them, cold eyes and a sharp frown making the three youths take a step back. Even though it was two in the afternoon on a bright summer Saturday, Tywin Lannister wore a black and grey suit despite almost never leaving his house anymore.

Old Man Tywin Lannister eyed each boy, disgust coloring his expression at each head. "What?" His voice was clipped and as cold as his eyes.

Theon and Robb both shot Jon a look to speak, Jon squaring his shoulders and begging the gods for extra courage. "Our ball-"

"Speak up, young man," Tywin instantly cut Jon off, his face pulling into an unimpressed sneer. "No one will take you seriously with a voice like that."

Jon swallowed roughly and felt Robb drift further away and closer to Theon. "Our ball fell into your yard." Jon spoke louder but his voice trembled at the end.

"Fell or was hit?" Old Man Tywin narrowed his eyes.

"Hit," Robb answered, his voice a low ashamed whisper.

"Why would you hit it in my yard?" Tywin sneered.

"We didn't do it on purpose," Theon rolled his eyes, fed up with the old man.

Old Man Tywin's eyes drifted to Theon. "You're Balon's son?" Jon and Robb both could see the color on Theon's face drain. He wasn't _supposed_ to be playing with them, the whole neighborhood knew that. Tywin didn't wait for an answer. "If you didn't mean to do it on purpose than why is it in my yard?"

"Can we just have it back?" Robb asked in his kindest voice, the one he used to silence baby Rickon when he began to cry.

Tywin snorted and slammed the door in their face. The three boys stood there dumbfounded.

"What an asshole!" Jon broke the silence, surprising both Stark and Greyjoy with such language.

"Is he going to tell your dad?" Robb turned worried to Theon.

Theon's eyes were still glued on the door. "My dad won't answer so it doesn't matter." A nasty gleam came over his eyes. "Stark, Snow," Theon turned to Jon, "we're going to get the ball back. Robb," he grabbed his best friend by the shoulders, "get a cartoon of eggs and the Karstark boys. Snow, call the Umbers and the Reeds. Hell, even your weird D&D nerd friends."

Jon caught on quickly. "And the toilet paper, Robb!"

Theon actually smiled at Jon and while Robb didn't normally condone this behavior, he was thrilled his best mate and brother were getting along.

"I'll rally the troops."

Quickly, the three boys raced in opposite directions. Robb raced for the house to get the necessary weapons from the armory. Jon hit every door down the street, calling the banners, and Theon called in a favor from his favorite (only) older sister. She was seventeen and had friends who were even older. Tywin Lannister wouldn’t stand a chance.

Old Man Tywin Lannister wanted to play mean and dirty; Theon, Robb and Jon could give just as well as they could take. As Asha's car full of older teens pulled up and the size of egg cartoons and toilet paper rolls added up into a sizable pile, the three boys wondered if Lannister was ready for the thunder.

This was _war_.


	2. The King behind the Iron Gate

Tommen Baratheon grinned softly at the frumpy cat in his arms. As much as his older brother complained about it, being at Grandfather Tywin’s for the summer wasn’t _that_ bad. Then again, Joffrey didn’t like Ser Pounce, or cats…Joffrey actually didn’t like anything for that matter. But Tommen liked it just fine. Sure, it was quite, but so was home. At least Grandfather Tywin let Tommen bring his cat. Mother never let Tommen bring Ser Pounce outside his bedroom.

Plus, Grandfather Tywin had the best window seat. It was a small cut out, just big enough for five year old Tommen to curl up with his cat on the worn red cushion. The window was on the left side of the house and gave Tommen a decent view of the street. He would have had a great view of the backyard to if it weren’t for the large wrought-iron gate.

Right now, Tommen and Ser Pounce were watching the boys from the neighborhood play baseball. Tommen wished he could join the older boys but Grandfather Tywin had made it _very_ clear that they weren’t allowed to. Joffrey was fine with it. He mostly stayed in his room with the door locked or snuck off to the side of the house and Myrcella liked to play tea party in the backyard. Tommen had to settle for watching the other kids with Ser Pounce.

It wasn’t bad though, just watching. He learned a lot. Like how the red haired boy was obviously in charge. Both the black hair boy with the frown and the tall boy with smirks always listened to the red haired boy. However, the black haired boy and the tall boy fought often. They _definitely_ didn’t like each other. Yet they stilled played together. Tommen wondered if Joffrey and he would ever be like that. Doubtful.

Today was no different than any other day. The three boys from down the street were playing ball again. This time the tall boy had the bat in his hand and the red haired one had the ball. Tommen watched as he pitched it and the taller boy swung with all his strength, spin around. However, the ball sailed to the left, straight toward the house. Tommen watched it go over the iron gate and disappear. The three boys’ faces dropped. Tommen couldn’t help but mirror their despair.

Tommen settled Ser Pounce onto the window seat as he slid off. The cat nestled in the sun and didn’t stir as Tommen raced to the backyard. Maybe if he found the ball the boys would let him play!

Myrcella was in the midst of her tea party, her two lions and deer plush toys sitting in a circle around her as she poured tea for each of them.

“Have you seen a ball?” Tommen asked, eyes scanning he yard.

Myrcella cocked her head to the side as she pointed toward the Hibiscus bush. “Grandfather says we aren’t allowed to play with them!”

“I’m not!” Tommen pouted, already on his hands and knees ducking into the bush for the ball. “I just want to give it back to them.”

Collecting the baseball, Tommen climbed out of the bush in time to see Myrcella purse her lips, clearly not believing Tommen. Looking down at the ball in his hands, Tommen could see one of the boys had scribbled their name on it. _Robb Stark_. Tommen wondered which boy was Robb. Probably the red haired one, if Tommen had to guess.

A slam of the front door made both Myrcella and Tommen jump. Tommen quickly shoved the ball into the back of his shirt as Grandfather Tywin marched out. His old eyes whipped around the yard.

“Have you two seen a baseball back here?”

Tommen wasn’t prepared to lie, but Myrcella was. “Nope!” she exclaimed cheerfully. “Why?” she asked with all the innocence of a seven year old.

Grandfather Tywin’s eyes softened on his granddaughter. “No reason.”

Both grandkids knew that was a lie as Grandfather Tywin retreated back into the house. Last summer Myrcella, Joffrey and Tommen had all found Grandfather Tywin’s collection of kids’ toys with names on them that none of them recognized. Tommen tried to remember if any of those names had been Robb Stark?

“What are you going to do with it?” Myrcella asked quietly.

Tommen reached for the ball. “Give it back.”

Myrcella pursed her lips once more before going back to her party. Tommen didn’t waste any time in racing back into the house. Climbing back onto the window seat, Tommen pushed Ser Pounce over so he could look out the window. The street was empty and Tommen wondered if the boys had left. Sighing sadly, Tommen collected Ser Pounce back in his arms and watched the empty street. The baseball rested by his hip.

Ten minutes passed and Tommen was surprised to see the black haired boy again. He wasn’t alone though. Three boys from the house on the corner were with him and a few boys from the next street over. A few girls had even joined him. All of them were carrying grocery bags and Tommen frowned, confused on what they were doing. The red haired boy came back with a cartoon of eggs and four rolls of toilet paper. A few minutes later a pick-up truck pulled up and _teenagers_ poured out along with the taller kid from earlier.

They talked amongst themselves for a moment. Tommen watched as the oldest kid, the girl from the pick-up truck, held up a bottle of spray paint and passed it to the red haired kid and patted him on the shoulder.

Tommen watched as he walked toward Grandfather’s house. Shaking the bottle, the kids behind him cheered and he grinned proudly as he sprayed Grandfather’s perfectly mowed loan. Tommen couldn’t read was it said but he barely had the time to as his window was hit with an object and yellow blocked his vision. An egg.

Tommen watched in horror and awe as not one egg, but two, three, four, five six, endless amounts of eggs came flying at the window. Tommen could hear them hit other parts of the house too. Distantly, Myrcella shrieked, racing into the house for shelter while Grandfather cursed, but Tommen was too stunned by the display before him.

Tommen watched motionless as the eggs continued to rain down. He was so shell-shocked that he didn't even notice the slam of the back door and the stomping of his brother's feet. Only when Ser Pounce scattered away did Tommen notice Joffrey's presence.

Looking up, Tommen’s eyes grew as wide as dinner plates in seeing yolk dripping through Joffrey’s golden hair. His eyes were slit with rage.

Tommen made the move to get further away from his enraged brother but in doing so, the baseball he held was dislodged and rolled loudly onto the ground. Before Tommen could even say a word, Joffrey had picked it up and read the name.

“Robb Stark?” Joffrey snarled, his knuckles turning white from his tight grip of the baseball. “He’ll pay for this.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stannis is next :)
> 
> Come say Hi on [Tumblr](http://youbuggingme.tumblr.com/)


	3. The King along the Narrow Sea

Stannis Baratheon sighed as a gentle silence filled his home. His wife had gone west to see her family, his daughter had just been put down for a nap and the game was about to start. It was all the makings of a nice, peaceful afternoon, until the children started. 

On North Street, there lived a family with six children, rowdy in all different fashions. Usually, Stannis didn't mind them. They didn't make that much noise and he never had reason to fall angry with them. They were children and it was summer- understandable. They were actually part of the reason Stannis moved into the area. They had a few children within Shireen’s age bracket.

However, today as the three young boys begun to play a little ways down the street near the traffic-less cul-de-sac, Stannis noticed a vast increase in the volume. He ignored it, as long as they didn't wake up Shireen, he could still pull off a quiet evening. His brothers (both of them, the bastards) had been very insistent on him taking a break. Of course, that was easy for Robert to say when he delegated every responsibility he had to someone else and Renly ‘job’ had been given to him by Robert and then fully supported and funded by the Tyrell family.  Still, even his partner and their attorney had given him the (forced) day off. 

But the noise only grew. From rowdy conversation and laughter of three boys, it soon grew to ten, twenty, seemingly endless amounts of children. Stannis looked out his window to see a group of children gathering on the street in front of Tywin Lannister's house. Narrowing eyes, Stannis could see plastic bags accompanying the children. He already knew that wasn't good. 

That same bad feeling was confirmed when the Greyjoy girl pulled up in a pick-up truck of even rowdier teenagers from the other side of the neighborhood. Stannis was almost beginning to feel bad for Tywin, but then he remembered how much of a dick the other man was and the feeling subsided. 

A knock came to his door, followed by the silent entry of Davos. Stannis nearly forgot they had plans to watch the game together…really, it was Davos’ not-so-secretive way of ensuring Stannis took a break but Stannis wasn’t going to call him out on it.

"I thought you were supposed to be relaxing," Davos sighed, immediately fearing the worst case scenario. 

"Tywin Lannister is about to get a nasty surprise." Stannis didn't even bother turning around to look at Davos. 

He could faintly hear Davos set down some objects- probably beer or ale -followed by the shuffling of footsteps. Peering out of the window beside Stannis, Davos failed to mask his surprise and concern. 

"Are those eggs?"

"And toilet paper, I believe," Stannis remarked as he watched the leader, a boy with bright red hair that Stannis could identify as Ned Stark's oldest, came forth with a spray can. 

"Dear God," Davos swore as the boy sprayed something on Tywin's lawn, followed by an eruption of laughter and cheering for the children- the loudest one yet. 

"What does it say?" Stannis frowned, unable to read the writing. 

Davos didn't give an answer; Stannis wouldn't have heard it anyways. Both were completely awestruck as the first volley of eggs hit Tywin's precious terracotta house, a particularly well-aimed egg exploding in the face of one of those hideous lion sculptures at the end of his drive way. 

The teenagers grabbed the toilet paper and began throwing with abandon. Some eggs went off kilter, more toilet paper ended up in the neighbor's trees. Stannis was thankful for the distance and feeling smug that one of those neighbors included one of the Tyrell investment properties that Renly was managing. If Stannis remembered correctly, it was the same investment property that the Tyrell family was staying at during the summer.

Stannis was almost on the side of giddy, watching the display before him when a faint fussing could be heard upstairs. Stannis snapped out of his daze and looked upstairs. Davos followed his gaze, a chill setting into the warm living room. 

"Shireen?" Davos asked weakly, Stannis' only answer was taking the steps two at a time to beat the oncoming wailing and hopefully lull his daughter back to sleep. 

When he reached the door to the bedroom, another loud burst of shrieks and laughter sounded from down the street and nine month old Shireen answer with a cry of her own.  

Stannis was enraged by the time he answered the door: enraged at Tywin for (probably) causing the dispute with the generally well-disposition boys, at the boys and their gang of children for becoming rowdy and loud and waking up his sick daughter, at himself for leaving the goddamn window open- he had been hoping it would cool the room with a gentle sea breeze from the Narrow Sea his home sat on the coast of, he never gave thought to what sounds that breeze might carry. 

Stannis quickly scooped his daughter into his arms and tried to calm her down. This sickness of her made her irritable and the medication the doctors had given her make putting her to sleep difficult, not to mention she'll still carry the scar for the rest of her life. 

Davos was at his shoulder and closed the window tightly. The noise quieted down but the damage was already done. Shireen was fully awake. Having realized her godfather was present along with her father, Shireen wasn't about to be put down again. 

Davos didn't need for Stannis to speak to know the anger present. The man may have not wanted to take a break and have been forced into taking a day off work, but he wasn't pleased with that peace being disturbed either. If Stannis liked anything more than the world, it was quiet.

In a calm and quiet voice, Stannis spoke. If Davos hadn't known the situation, the words would have sounded almost sweet. However, the words "Get Melisandre on the phone" struck a fear Davos didn't get often. A fear that maybe this day off had been a mistake and they all would have been far better with letting the hard man work in peace. 

Anything would have been better than getting that red witch of an attorney involved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Up next is Renly :)
> 
> [Tumblr](http://youbuggingme.tumblr.com/)


End file.
